Mothers & Daughters

"I don't understand my daughter. She's so different from me. But I'm afraid that if we don't get close now, she'll be at risk later of getting into trouble. How can I get close to her?"

"Aren't daughters usually closer to their mothers than fathers? Why don't I feel close to my mother? I'm more like my father in personality, but I'd like to feel understood by my mother."

Oh, the yearning that I hear in those questions! And they're not even members of the same family, so one can't say that it's unique to one particular family or problem situation.

Rather, these voices express the unheard pleas of so many parents and children in today's age.

Did you also notice that the mother's question is a mirror image of the daughter's question? Isn't it uncanny that they both feel the same way about the distance in their relationships?

So many families suffer from feelings of disconnection. It takes real courage for each person to reach out to the other. They are so afraid of being ignored or rejected.

But the alternative is worse. G-d forbid, the alienation that they feel now can be interpreted as "she doesn't care about me."

And that thought can result in years of pain before a person returns to its source and examines its consequences.