A Parent's Values
Many of us are in a quandary about how to raise our children. What do we allow and what do we prohibit? As they get older, how do we determine when to bend and when to stand tall?
Each one of us has a certain value system which permeates our parenting. At the same time, we also have our own family history which affects the strategies that we use in parenting. The challenge, it seems to me, is to convey our values yet modify our strategies so that they fit with the personalities of our children and the particulars of the situation.
Let's say your child wants to buy a car. He's worked and has the money but still lives at home. You are afraid that, without the necessity of sharing the family car, he'll have total freedom to come and go as he pleases. You're not ready to give him that freedom because you are concerned that he's too young to truly recognize the risks and responsibilities that come with it.
What are the values that contribute to your thinking? What is a "value" and what is a "fear?"
Furthermore, how do you communicate with your son in a fashion that will convey respect and concern? How do you negotiate the limits? What actions do you take or not?
This is one hypothetical example. I'm sure that there are many true vignettes from your own life.
Each one of us has a certain value system which permeates our parenting. At the same time, we also have our own family history which affects the strategies that we use in parenting. The challenge, it seems to me, is to convey our values yet modify our strategies so that they fit with the personalities of our children and the particulars of the situation.
Let's say your child wants to buy a car. He's worked and has the money but still lives at home. You are afraid that, without the necessity of sharing the family car, he'll have total freedom to come and go as he pleases. You're not ready to give him that freedom because you are concerned that he's too young to truly recognize the risks and responsibilities that come with it.
What are the values that contribute to your thinking? What is a "value" and what is a "fear?"
Furthermore, how do you communicate with your son in a fashion that will convey respect and concern? How do you negotiate the limits? What actions do you take or not?
This is one hypothetical example. I'm sure that there are many true vignettes from your own life.
posted by Dr. Spiegel at
12:49 PM
1 Comments:
Having two teens who are driving scares the day lights out of me! Since I know I am very nervous about driving, I ask my husband what his opinion is. For example, one teen needed to go to the city for a doctors appointment, and wanted to drive there herself. I would have said no, but I asked my husband and he suggested she take some driving lessons on the highway and in the city. Then he would be okay with allowing her to take the car to the city. So she has gone in a few times (I have a grey hair for each time!!) But she feels like a million.
By
Anonymous, at Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Post a Comment
<< Home