Why Sons Need Their Fathers

A disproportionate number of mothers are trying to be fathers as well as mothers to their sons. I'm referring not just to single mothers. There are many homes with two parents in which only one of whom, the female, is in charge of parenting. Fathers have opted out.

Their sons are suffering as a result.

Fathers complain they "have no time" to spend with their sons and/or their wives do a "better job." How can mothers do a better job when they don't have the necessary qualifications? And when will fathers "find the time?" Listen to the lyrics of the Harry Chapin song, Cats in the Cradle, and you will learn the results.

What do fathers provide that mothers cannot? Read the following:

Boys need male guidance in exploring their own power and its limits, and in how to use it for their own good and the good of others. Boys need to learn how to know and respect their own strength, and yet not exaggerate it or flaunt it. They need to learn how to listen to the world and know its power and their own limits; how to listen to their own feelings and respect them, and how to express them, to find their voices, and to know the importance of honesty and of keeping one's word. They need to learn how to listen to and respect the feelings of others..."*

Fathers or, if necessary, their male stand-ins can and must provide the needed guidance for their sons. Boys grow up to be men who will enrich or diminish their families (and the world) based on their experiences or lack of it with their fathers.

Dad, your son needs YOU. Now.

*Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. NY: Hyperion, 1997, p. 269.