Touch

She carefully, fondly cleaned behind his ears and down his back while he stood perfectly still, enjoying his mother's touch. Both of them sensed the specialness of the moment, its brevity as well as its beauty. There was so much love between them.

Then he grew impatient, his youthfulness reasserting itself, and the moment was gone.

The little deer shook his head and bounded away, while the doe watched him go.

Touch is the most basic expression of love among humans as well as other species. Newborn children need to be touched to grow and gain weight. When deprived of this basic need they fail to thrive, experiencing the eponymous syndrome. Infants at risk range from those raised in orphanages or neglectful, abusive homes to premature hospitalized babies.

We forget, as our children grow older, how often we used to touch them. We may not realize that just as they enjoyed being touched, we enjoyed touching them. It signified closeness, caring and connection.

Touch, however, can be easily warped by those who misconstrue its meaning. Rather than convey love it becomes a means of possession and power. Because of the plethora of abuse in society we are compelled to refrain from touching children outside our immediate families, such as young neighbors or students.

Yet the desire for physical closeness and its concomitant benefits do not wane; touch benefits adults as well as children. It has been found to lessen pain, improve pulmonary function, reduce stress hormones and lower blood glucose.*

So continue to touch your children to the degree they allow. If your teenagers balk at being hugged and react like a porcupine when you attempt to do so, back off and give them space. A touch on the shoulder at this age can have the power of a full-blown embrace of a younger child.

As you move on to more verbal means of communication, remember the power of the physical. Touching an adult's arm to show support can express more sympathy than anything you could say.

Also, don't forget the elderly person in your life. Senior citizens, who often live alone, receive the least amount of touching than any other age group. Touching an elderly parent, especially one with Alzheimer's, can facilitate communication. When I hug my mother or hold her hand, for example, she smiles and I know we've connected. Maybe through my touch I've given her an extra moment of life.

Finally, if you're lucky you'll be blessed with grandchildren. Then you'll have a chance to touch a young'un all over again. Enjoy it while it lasts!


*See Importance of Human Touch.