When Do You Need Help?

Her pain emanated from her face. Sitting forward in her seat, tense and unsmiling, she recounted her childhood to me: Parents in frequent battle, coming home to an empty house and being molested by a neighbor.

Now she battles anxiety and depression.

This is a fictional account that mimics the many stories that I hear in my practice. It typifies either the human tragedy or the human triumph, according to our ability to overcome adversity and move on.

My parents' generation, for example, overcame the worst debacle that can happen to a person - the destruction of their homes, families and society at the hand of the Nazis - to raise a new generation.

Many of us, through determination and hard work, similarly transcend our histories.

But we pay a price. The outside world doesn't see the wounds; there are no external scars to elicit sympathy. So when we break down and cry they admonish us and say, "What's wrong with you?"

We don't know. Often the wounds are so deep and so painful that it takes much sympathetic treatment to help us feel safe enough to explore the site.

So we carry on. We push aside the feelings until one day, maybe after the birth of another child, the move to another city, the death of a parent or loved one, we suddenly find ourselves no longer able to go on.

The burden has become to heavy to bear.

If you have suffered in the past and/or suffering now, don't wait for a crisis to repair the emotional damage. Trust your feelings. They are there for a reason. When they signal unhappiness, fear, confusion or despair seek the support and help you need. You deserve to live.