Anger Revisited

We have already discussed the source and pain of feeling angry at someone else. Now, we'll look at anger from the other, equally painful side: What do we do when someone is angry with us?

One common reaction is to attack the other person. For example, if an acquaintance tells me something critical, I might think, "How dare she say that about me?" Then I might withdraw in response, and we're at a stalemate.

Alternatively, if the other person -- let's say, one's spouse -- withdraws in anger, then I might be the one to start criticizing him in the hope of re-engaging and resuming our relationship. This might cause him to withdraw even further and, once again, we're at a stalemate.

The attack/withdraw "dance" can become a repetitive pattern that disrupts communication and maintains relationships in an unhealthy manner.

Anger causes distance; forgiveness brings closeness. Let's discuss ways of handling anger in our relationships.