Grandparenting

I always thought being a grandparent was about presents. I've learned that the essence of grandparenting is presence.

Sure, the kids love and hope to receive presents from us. So, one might think, we can give them toys, gifts or money and our relationship is secure.

Not so.

What both creates and cements a relationship is the interaction that takes place between two people. This goes for any relationship. Consider other family relationships - a husband who spends his days and nights at the office may try to compensate with flowers or jewelry; nice but it doesn't cut it. Gifts don't create intimacy. A father who doesn't see his children will soon find that when he asks them, "How's school?" they'll respond, "Fine," and walk away. Presents cannot substitute for presence.

So to be a grandparent I need to be present in my children and grandchildren's lives. And how to do so is an ongoing learning experience.

I'm learning what to say and when to say it
when to express my opinion and when to hold still
how to play and allow others to do the work,
just enjoy - let others be responsible!

It's a new stage in life
and, although my part is small,
I'm still part of the drama
waiting to be called
by little ones who know my name
help me learn my lines
and teach me their games
with love.