Fear of the Outdoors

Growing up as a city girl, I was squeamish when it came to bugs and fearful of animals. I do remember collecting frogs and salamanders, and we did go through various pet stages -- but wild animals and the great outdoors always frightened me.

Ironically, I've been hiking and camping with my family now for almost three decades. What on earth got into me? And, once I started, what kept me going?

My husband and I first went camping as guests. We had a good time and the novelty of it intrigued me. When my husband suggested buying camping equipment as a practical (translate as frugal) means of vacationing, I agreed -- who could argue with the $10-15 per night cost for two students?

We bought the works: Tent (later a second one, when our children grew older), propane stove, lanterns, sleeping bags and foam mattresses. We used the equipment almost yearly after that first summer. The only times we did not go camping were when we had a special occasion, whether our own (including a new baby) or that of someone else in the family that prevented our going away in the summer.

To return to my fears: At the same time that I would outwardly be hiking and camping, inwardly I was still feeling squeamish and scared. After all, I knew the streets of New York City far better than the woods of New York or other states!

Being outdoors continually presented me with challenges that I needed to deal with --walking along cliffs with my young children, climbing up a mountain with a baby on my back, or down the path to a waterfall while heavily pregnant. Then came the unexpected as well -- the mud after a rain, powerful winds and thunderstorms, and getting lost in the woods, to name a few. Have I scared you sufficiently?

What kept me going back to this source of terror? First of all, I relished the opportunity to experience nature -- its quiet, its beauty and its serenity. It was also healing to walk and listen to the wind and the birds. It has been a privilege to bear witness to the awesomeness of G-d's creations and to show them to my children.

My children, too, benefited immensely. They learned that they did not need to be entertained by man-made meshugaas. Instead, they had the resources to enjoy themselves with almost any object at hand.

Finally, I learned to confront my fears and go forward despite them. Indeed, now that I live outside of NYC, I use this same resolve to help me gather the courage to drive into the city!

My camping experiences have taught me how to live.

Road Signs

Sometimes we continue doing what we're doing, despite clear signs that we're heading for disaster. We ignore the warning "Road Closed Up Ahead." We pretend that, since we've taken this road many times before, the sign must be wrong. We keep plunging ahead until we decide to turn around or, if not, hit the barrier.

Human beings are creatures of habit, not only in behavior but in thinking as well. We find it so difficult to change our ways that years may go by before we acknowledge that something needs to change. All too often we have to hit that barrier (i.e., have a family or medical crisis) before we learn to modify our thinking or actions.

The signs of what's ahead may be easy or difficult to read. In addition, they may be internal (physical/emotional) or external (relationship/job stress). Watch out for them; your life may depend on it.