Climbing

It's a struggle to be a working woman. And who isn't a working woman? Every woman I know works 24-7 (with the exception of a few 80-year-old women)!

A woman works hard to achieve the standard that's expected of her. She doesn't allow herself to relax lest she falls behind or - her greatest fear - fall apart. So she continually plans ahead, checking her to-do list. She's like a mountain climber who looks up at how far she has to go, not daring to look down at how far she's come.

Climbing can indeed hone one's muscles and sharpen one's wit. But what happens if you focus only on your next step? Pretty soon, those steps get slower and your burden becomes heavier, until you can't move anymore.

Look around. Breathe. Don't miss the pleasure of the climb.

"Hey Kids! Supper's on the Table"

How often do you sit down and eat with your children? Many women have become too busy to take the time to sit down. Instead, they may be talking on the phone, serving the food and cleaning up or checking their email. Fathers, too. We've become too anxious about our outside connections to focus on the connections we need to maintain inside our homes.

Yet time and time again the research tells us that eating family meals together (that means sitting down at the table!) protects our children from mental and physical health problems.

When we engage in relaxing conversation while eating we communicate the message that we enjoy our family's company; moreover, that our family is the #1 priority in our lives. The telephone, the computer, the day's mail can all wait. That's a powerful antidote to feelings of worthlessness that many teens suffer from today.

Indeed, researchers found teenage girls who ate five or more family meals per week were less likely to resort to extreme dieting measures like using diet pills or laxatives, binge eating, and vomiting to control their weight (WebMD: January issue of Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine).

So the next time you think of having someone else give the kids their supper - or prepare it and tell them to take it themselves - say, "No! I'm going to be there with them!"

Does my child have ADHD?

Attention Deficit Disorder(ADD), with or without Hyperactivity (AD/HD), is diagnosed in this country more than any other in the world, and in some regions of the U.S. more than others. Is it a valid diagnosis?

Yes and no.

We know that ADD is a neurological disorder that affects concentration, attention and impulse control. When children with ADD are given the proper medication and behavior management, their functioning in school and at home improves dramatically. However, there are many children who appear to have ADD but don't.

For example, a child may engage in what's called "attention-seeking behavior." Research presented to the British Psychological Society described children who are overactive, impulsive and concentrate poorly in the presence of adults. None of these children were found to have ADD; instead, their behaviors were reinforced by the reactions of the adults around them.

Similarly, a child may be aggressive and noncompliant because of emotional issues, such as feelings of depression and/or anxiety. A teacher may report the behaviors, and the parent may have similar problems at home, leading them to think that medication is the answer to their problems. But only a careful evaluation by a professional can truly discern the cause.

ADD is a description of what one sees. One needs to look beyond the label and determine what's happening inside.