How do oysters make pearls?

Letting go of one's protective shell can be very scary. As one client says, "It comes at a price." The price is the ability to feel. And feeling is very scary indeed.

To feel means to experience pain. But without pain there is no healing. Without pain it is difficult to empathize with others and to feel compassion for them.

Without pain there truly is no gain.

The formation of a natural pearl begins when a foreign substance enters an oyster. The oyster reacts to this occurrence by excreting a substance which covers up the irritant. The layers of this substance eventually form a pearl.

So, too, we have a choice as to how to react to emotional pain. We can be devastated by it or we can protect ourselves by covering it up and transforming it into a beautiful pearl.

Mindful Parenting

During my group coaching session today, I recalled Judith Beck's book, "The Beck Diet Solution."

An essential ingredient of effective parenting is contained in that work.

What I call "Mindful Parenting" is similar to the mindful eating that Dr. Beck recommends. She states that we should eat while thinking about what we're eating; tasting the texture of the food, smelling the aroma, and enjoying the experience. Similarly, rather than respond spontaneously and regret our actions later, we need to think before we respond, assess the child's mood as well as our own, and mete out only those consequences that we have planned and discussed beforehand.

I hope this give you food for thought!