TEENS: What do they need?

I recall sitting at my computer when my teenage daughter came home from school.

I turned around as she entered the room.

"How was your day?" I asked.

She looked hard at me as she replied, "Fine," and then left the room.

This pattern continued for a few days and I began to notice (finally) her reticence. 'What's happening here?' I asked myself.

So I experimented.

The following day I made sure to stop my work at least 1/2 hour before my daughter's expected arrival and began to cook supper.

She found me in the kitchen.

"How was your day (or some variant)?" I asked.

"Fine."

But this time she didn't leave the room. She stayed, relaxed against the counter, and watched as I continued to prepare the meal.

From then on I tried my best to be in the kitchen, not at the computer, when my teenager returned home.

What do teenagers want?

Today's Wall St. Journal describes the change in teens' television viewing habits and summarizes it as follows: "Teens like their parents."

Furthermore, market research backs up this new phenomenon:

In a study of more than 2,000 children... 75% of 12- to 17-year-olds said they get along with their parents, and 72% said they like spending time with their families. In a June 2007 study, 93% of teens said they had a good relationship with their mothers - an estimated 15 to 20 percentage points higher than two decades ago.

Similar to my previously published article, What Do Adolescent Girls Need?, the Wall St. Journal article highlights the importance of family relationships in meeting adolescents' emotional needs. As I quoted in my article on teen girls, "making family meals a priority, in spite of scheduling difficulties, emerges as the most consistent protective factor for disordered eating."*

So what does your teenager need?

You.


*Neumark-Sztainer, Dianne, et.al. Are family meal patterns associated with disordered eating behaviors among adolescents? Journal of Adolescent Health, Vol. 35, Issue 5, November 2004, Pages 350-359.