Gift-Giving
This is the season of gifts - giving and receiving gifts that are fraught with expectations and disappointments.
So why do we go through this agony every year?
One reason may be to maintain good relations. The Bible quotes Jacob (Genesis 33:10) as saying to his brother, Esau, "I pray thee, if I have found favor in thine eyes, then take my present from my hand." Jacob wanted to avoid a war between brothers. He used his gift to change Esau's attitude from one of hostility towards one of brotherly love. His present was meant to repair prior damage to their relationship.
Giving gifts, however, may do more damage than harm. The Bible recounts the consequences of Jacob favoring his youngest son, Joseph, with a "coat of many colors." By rewarding one child and not others, Jacob exacerbated the rivalry between Joseph and his brothers when he openly favored him. Joseph became isolated and endangered, causing much misery to himself and his father before their eventual reunion.
A contemporary description of the perils of giving gifts is reported in today's Wall St. Journal, in The Gift That Needs Forgiving.
In this article, spouses - most of them wives - describe their disappointing experiences of receiving gifts that they deem inappropriate; that is, practical, mundane or just wrong (e.g., an extra-large robe for a small woman). The women remember these disappointments long past the time that their husbands would choose to forget them, if their wives would allow that to happen.
My question: Is a disappointing gift better than no gift at all?
So why do we go through this agony every year?
One reason may be to maintain good relations. The Bible quotes Jacob (Genesis 33:10) as saying to his brother, Esau, "I pray thee, if I have found favor in thine eyes, then take my present from my hand." Jacob wanted to avoid a war between brothers. He used his gift to change Esau's attitude from one of hostility towards one of brotherly love. His present was meant to repair prior damage to their relationship.
Giving gifts, however, may do more damage than harm. The Bible recounts the consequences of Jacob favoring his youngest son, Joseph, with a "coat of many colors." By rewarding one child and not others, Jacob exacerbated the rivalry between Joseph and his brothers when he openly favored him. Joseph became isolated and endangered, causing much misery to himself and his father before their eventual reunion.
A contemporary description of the perils of giving gifts is reported in today's Wall St. Journal, in The Gift That Needs Forgiving.
In this article, spouses - most of them wives - describe their disappointing experiences of receiving gifts that they deem inappropriate; that is, practical, mundane or just wrong (e.g., an extra-large robe for a small woman). The women remember these disappointments long past the time that their husbands would choose to forget them, if their wives would allow that to happen.
My question: Is a disappointing gift better than no gift at all?
posted by Dr. Spiegel at
1:39 PM
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