The Power of Apology
We've heard heads of state apologize to the public for their actions. We've read about Prime Ministers and Presidents apologizing to other nations for past misdeeds. But how often do you hear of a parent apologizing to a child?
Why are we so afraid of admitting our mistakes? Do we think that our children will lose respect for us if we do apologize?
On the contrary. When we take responsibility for our mistakes, we teach them to do the same. We also let them know that all people make mistakes and that, moreover, we can learn from them only if we acknowledge that we made a mistake in the first place!
So if you're late to pick up your child, you forgot to buy something that was needed, or you responded in anger over a minor misdeed, don't be afraid to admit to it.
Another reason we may be afraid to apologize to our children is the overwhelming guilt that we feel when we realize that we cannot undo what's already been done. We are afraid of the damage and pain that we may have caused our children. This is especially true when dealing with adolescents, who seem to judge our every word and action.
Yet the act of apology frees up both parent and child from anger and makes room for forgiveness and love.
Finally, when we apologize - even if we think we're "right" - we take the burden off our children's shoulders to defend themselves. We remove the judgment and prioritize the relationship.
The power of apology works in all relationships. Try it.
Why are we so afraid of admitting our mistakes? Do we think that our children will lose respect for us if we do apologize?
On the contrary. When we take responsibility for our mistakes, we teach them to do the same. We also let them know that all people make mistakes and that, moreover, we can learn from them only if we acknowledge that we made a mistake in the first place!
So if you're late to pick up your child, you forgot to buy something that was needed, or you responded in anger over a minor misdeed, don't be afraid to admit to it.
Another reason we may be afraid to apologize to our children is the overwhelming guilt that we feel when we realize that we cannot undo what's already been done. We are afraid of the damage and pain that we may have caused our children. This is especially true when dealing with adolescents, who seem to judge our every word and action.
Yet the act of apology frees up both parent and child from anger and makes room for forgiveness and love.
Finally, when we apologize - even if we think we're "right" - we take the burden off our children's shoulders to defend themselves. We remove the judgment and prioritize the relationship.
The power of apology works in all relationships. Try it.
posted by Dr. Spiegel at
4:13 PM
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3 comments
