Is Mom replaceable?

When our children are little, we assume the daycare provider is just as good as we are at understanding our babies.

When our children go to school, the teacher naturally knows what's best.

The teens loudly defend their friends as their best and only confidants.

And who can compete with a loving spouse?

Wait, Mom. You're needed much more than you think.

In the early years, for example, a recent study at the University of Illinois has shown that secure mother-child attachments predict good friendships.

Dr. McElwain, the lead researcher of the study, found that “in a secure, emotionally open mother-child relationship, children develop a more positive, less biased understanding of others, which then promotes more positive friendships during the early school years.”

Similarly, your children have better self-esteem when they feel secure in their relationships with you.

Lastly, teens and young adults may leave from you for increasing lengths of time and for far-flung places, but their ability to separate depends on a secure attachment with you.

Attachment leads to independence.

Detachment leads to anger and estrangement.

So keep the phone lines open, Mom. Your children are calling!

The Stress g-r-O-WS

Now you're seriously stressed out. Your deadline gets closer every day. You're not sleeping well at night and your body aches with tension when you awaken in the wee hours of the morning.

What to do? Here are a few of my suggestions.

First get everyone out the door. Give yourself some time alone. If you have a baby at home, make sure to keep up those naps. Put the baby in the crib even if he/she doesn't sleep. You need the time out as much as the youngster does.

The next step is the more difficult one. Use at least part of your free time for yourself. Re-energize by sitting down and eating a quiet lunch. Allow yourself time to gather your thoughts. When you're ready to re-enter the world, tackle a job that you can feel good about, something that you'll complete in the time left. Then you'll be able to feel even slightly accomplished.

Finally, develop tunnel vision and hearing. Don't look or listen to what others are doing who are coping with the same deadline. Everyone has their own path to the finish line; some of us are sprinters, others view the race as a marathon, but we all reach the finish line.

Congratulations! You're a member of the human race.