Marital Conflict: My nose got in the way

I was looking at a picture of two people and noticed something important for the first time: The human face is a visual rendering of human relations.

A person's face is unique in that it is the same for everyone yet different for each individual. Let's examine the most noticeable facial features and their connection both to relationships and to our inner happiness.

The eyes, if relations are good, look directly at you. They can be open and revealing or guarded and semi-closed. When there is no direct eye contact we know that something is wrong, for the person cannot or will not reveal his or her feelings.

Furthermore, how we use our eyes affects our perception of the world and subsequently our own thinking. A simple example: In winter time, do we choose to look at the bare leafless trees or the clear blue sky? It is important to recognize that there is a choice here.

The mouth is likewise very expressive. If our friend smiles at us we feel secure and happy in the relationship. Moreover, we can impact our own feelings by moving our mouth muscles! If we smile and laugh, we ourselves can become in a better mood. As the saying goes, "Smile and G-d will give you something to smile about."

Finally, the nose. We can use its innate function alone and smell the roses, or in conjunction with our other senses, to heighten our pleasure. For example, we enjoy eating more when the food is colorful, smells good and presented well on its plate.

But if we want to get really close to another person, to be fully intimate, we need to to tilt our heads and move our noses out of the way. If we stand our ground and refuse to compromise we will collide noses and we'll both get hurt.

What a lesson in anatomy!