The Best Recipe for Health? Be Positive

If you're feeling angry, depressed, or upset at this moment, then you need to do some rethinking - literally.

Changing our thoughts from negative to positive appears to have health benefits for women.

Research from Ben-Gurion University of the Negev indicates that "a general feeling of happiness and optimism can play a protective role" against breast cancer. On the other hand, "experiencing more than one severe and/or mild to moderate life event is a risk factor for breast cancer among young women." Examples of stressful life events include "the loss of a parent or close relative, divorce or the loss of a spouse."

This research describes the effects of recent traumas. But chronic stress and its resultant negative outlook harms one's health as well, putting women at risk for high blood pressure and heart disease.

A clean bill of health includes one's mental health.

Insurance companies are getting the message, too. We will finally have mental health parity starting in 2010. From then on, we will be eligible for equal benefits for psychological/psychiatric office visits and medical ones.

The Business of Therapy

Therapy business is booming, according to some reports. When the economic situation is poor, "therapists" of all persuasions are in demand.

So we have hypnotists and energy-healers, counselors and body therapists, holistic practitioners and specialists all vying for your time and money.

How many of these helpers base their so-called credentials on real - versus online - training and experience? What research do they cite to back up their claims of the effectiveness of their treatments?

"Caveat emptor," let the buyer beware. Remember that at the end of the yellow-bricked road the Wizard of Oz will be a person, not a magician.

How does Michelle Obama do it?

We can ask the same question of every working woman. There are no super-women, just those with the resources to enable them the freedom to work. Of course, the bottom line is sufficient money to pay for the physical support. But the First Lady To Be has something, or I should say someone else, equally important.

Obviously, I don't mean her husband.

Do you know who takes care of the children? It's not a paid babysitter or day-care center. Her mother, the children's "beloved grandmother" are in full charge when their mother is not there.

So that's the bottom line.

If you want to leave your children, don't make them "latchkey kids." You can't supervise over the phone, even if you leave them a schedule or a prepared meal.

All children need a mother's love and a mother's loving mother works well, too.

I don't think attention from a nanny or day-care worker is the same.

The Downside of Full-time Help

For those women who do their own cleaning, be grateful as you sweat. There's a downside to having cleaning help.

For those women who do have help and fear that they won't show up, know that there's a downside to relying on someone else.

When a maid cooks your meals, washes your dishes and does your laundry, do you think that you are living in reality?

When your worst fears are breaking your diet, ruining your nail polish or messing your hair, do you think that the sun and moon revolve around you?

Oh, how we wish to always live in the world of fantasy, of dreams come true and life in the castle in the sky!

But there is a price to be paid.

When you are busy elsewhere, whether the department store or the career track, your personal life is beginning to crack.

You may lose sight of the kids, if you don't sit down with them every day. Chauffeuring them around just doesn't sway.

Your children in turn will forget how to share, how to clean their own rooms or show that they care.

They will take all you give for granted, forget what responsibility means, because you have paid another to keep everything clean.

When they go to school and told to follow the rules, they'll respond, "Why?" instead of "Yes," and will treat the teacher like a fool.

The family is like a house that needs tendering and care. Be careful what you delegate because there is no substitute for a mother being there.